Dodgers Put Up Baker’s Dozen On Struggling Snakes

archies

July 16, 2016 by Shannon Michael Smith

The Dodgers rode Chris Taylor’s 6-RBI slugfest to a 13-7 victory over the Diamondbacks last night. Bud Norris earned his first win against the Snakes as well (we made fun of his horrible numbers against them previously, see last post). Norris surrendered four runs on eight hits in five innings worth of work, but still earned the victory thanks to unbridled Dodger hitting (El Caballo Salvaje drove in three runs as well).

Van Slyke played center field last night (he couldn’t stop mashing home runs in Spring Training, but his bat’s been el stinko this season). Trayce Thompson looks like he’ll miss some playing time due to back issues. Joc Pederson should be back in the lineup on Tuesday. Ethier probably won’t return until late August.

We’ve been getting reports about Dodger players hooked on Pokemon Go (oh Lord). We’re sure most of you have either played or heard about the phenomenon by now. Supposedly, you can lure Pokemon to your spot if you burn incense. Shady characters have been luring daft Pokemon players into robberies through beacons. Hmmmm…incense, shady characters, robberies…sound like our trip to Haight-Ashbury to buy weed in 1986!

Archie Bradley will take the hill for the Snakes today. Brandon McCarthy will face the Arizona Diamondbacks for the first time in his career. We keep waiting for the other shoe to drop with B-Mac, it’s been too easy. We shouldn’t have called him B-Mac just now. Does anyone else call him that? What about Big Mac? Fry guy? No, that’s Andrew Friedman. Mayor McCheese? Bingo! Mayor McCheese it is…

Will Mayor McCheese mow down Arizona sleaze? Will Goldschmidt, Gosewich, and Gosselin form a creepy lawyer firm? Will Archie Bradley use “Everything’s Archie” by The Archies as his walk-up song? Stay tuned! Until next time, mirth-seekers!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s