Dodgers Put B.M. on Hill, Will Install Whisky 3000 Today

Fried-Man's Drank

July 3, 2016 by Shannon Michael Smith

The Dodgers took the series from the Rockies last night on a 6-1 victory at Chavez Ravine. Kazmir’s up-and-down season continues as he earned his seventh win on a ten-strikeout performance. Kaz only managed to go six innings though, as Fien and Howell pitched scoreless frames and Hatcher coughed up a home run in the ninth.

Today Los Dogs will go for the sweep before they tackle first place (AL East) Baltimore on the fourth.

Feedback Feedbag! We heard back from some of you yesterday as we posed the question: Are the rivalries in the NL West dead? 100% of those that wrote in agreed that the Giants/Dodgers rivalry is flatter than Leonard Nimoy’s singing.

Fred from Diamond Bar wrote:

“First of all, I’d just like to say that you guys are gods (geez, Fred, you’re making us blush) and are funnier than any sports comedy weirdos out there (we know, but thanks anyway). I totally agree that the NL West is a snore these days. Maybe some of these guys need to “disrespect” each other to get this thing heated up again. Like, maybe Joc could steal Mad Bum’s shoes and light them on fire, or perhaps Corey Seager could slip LSD into Cueto’s horchata, or Puig could replace Bochi’s Just for Men dye with green food coloring or…”

We get the point, Fred. They need to hate each other on a personal level. Major League Baseball is a giant country club of pampered stars that don’t want to step on each other’s toes, we get it. Manfred Mann’s Nanny Band has taken away all contact in the sport to avoid confrontation. So what do we do, wait for Chase Utley to break someone else’s leg? Yes.

Who Sits Behind Home Plate Part ?????????

 A curious development has occurred in the pathetic world of baseball blogging. We know you’re all familiar with the rascalsoftheravine segment “Who Sits Behind Home Plate”, right? Well SOMEONE that sits behind home plate (we were going to mention him in a future post) has started to follow us on Twitter, go figure!!! We sort of assume that no pampered scribe or athlete ever reads this dishrag. Don’t worry, it doesn’t change anything, we’ll still mention him, it just shook us up a little…we’ll be okay, just prop us up in front of Whisky 3000 for an hour or two.

Today the Rockies send Jon Gray to the hill and the Dodgers will send…Brandon McCarthy!!!!! You remember him, right? The brains in the front office dumped $48 million on B.M. (December of 2014) and he only pitched for ten minutes before the injury…another genius signing by Fart-hand Zaidi and Fried (on pills) Man…oh how the sizzzurp must flow in the front office.

Will Jon Gray reveal himself to be a gray alien who’s obsessed with the book Fifty Shades of Grey? Will Brandon McCarthy pitch four innings before his elbow ligament goes off on a tear? Will rascalsoftheravine staffers actually show up at El Compadre before the Orioles game at noon on Wednesday? Stay tuned! Until next time, mirth seekers!

 

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