June 29, 2016 by Shannon Michael Smith
The words “broken collarbone” came to mind as we watched Pederson writhe on the ground in Milwaukee last night after making a spectacular catch. It turns out he only has a bruised A/C joint and is listed day-to-day. Phew! Unlike Bengals fans, Brew-Crew supporters managed not to urinate on the prostrate Pederson. Kudos to them! The temptation must have been great as their bladders are typically filled to the brim with suds.
The Dodgers beat the Brewers, 6-5, but the news of Clayton Kershaw’s sore back sent shockwaves through Dodger media. What happens if C.K. goes down? How long would he be out? We imagine ugly, ugly, ugly things…
It’s a shame Urias’ first win was overshadowed by the terrible news. The Dodgers’ scream teen pitched six innings and gave up two runs on two hits (he also walked six). We gave the Dodgers grief for rolling him out there this year (we figured they should have waited till ‘17) but perhaps we were wrong. The injuries to the starters have put the team in a position where they had to do something to bolster the injury-plagued rotation.
Who Sits Behind Home Plate Part 4
We can’t believe we haven’t mentioned him yet. Next time you watch the Dodgers on TV, take a good look at who sits directly behind home plate. No, it’s not Donald Sterling (although there is a creepy similarity) it’s none other than legendary baseball agent Dennis Gilbert. We estimate he attends about 65-70 of the 81 home games a year. He hobnobs with Mary Hart, Larry King, and other home-plate regulars. He doesn’t own the Beverly Hills Sports Council anymore, but one can assume he still breathes baseball as he practically lives at the Ravine. Did he try to buy the Dodgers with Larry King once? Yes.
Tonight the Dodgers will roll out another minor leaguer. Less than 90 days ago, Brock Stewart was pitching in RANCHO. Not AAA Oklahoma City, not AA Tulsa, but Class A-Advanced California League RANCHO. Stewart’s greener than Ed Begley Jr.’s house! Speaking of Begley, we had the weirdest encounter with that cat once. We had just watched seven seasons worth of old Adam-12 (we’re freaks, we know) and we happened to see a teenage Begley in one of the episodes. Sure enough, we ran into him at the Daily Grill on Ventura a couple of days later. We mentioned that we had seen him in Adam 12 and he stared at us as if we had just peed on his shoe (see how we take it full circle in this blog)! The moral of the story is: don’t speak to anyone famous. Ever.
Is Brock Stewart related to French Stewart? Does French Stewart have anything to do with French’s mustard? Is French’s mustard actually from France? Stay tuned! Until next time, mirth seekers!