Dogs Munch On Snakes, Look to Outdrink Brew Crew

brew it

June 16, 2016 by Shannon Michael Smith

Clayton Kershaw earned his tenth win yesterday in a 3-2 victory over the decrepit Diamondbacks. Tonight the Dodgers begin a four-game series (seems like a little much) versus the Milwaukee Brewers at 7:10 (when else, Los Dogs apparently hate weekday noon starts).

Some power finally seems to be returning to the Dodgers lineup (Hey Joe Davis, this team has stunk for power all season, quit telling us the Dogs lead the majors in home runs since May whatever, the totals overall are way down). Joc hit a couple out on Tuesday night and Van Slyke’s monster mash put the team up ahead for good yesterday.

Old Milwaukee. It must be nice to have a baseball team named after such a noble profession. The television likes to make one think that bearded lumberjack types brew beer (nice look, millennials). Forget that nonsense! The crafters of the nation’s golden greats typically resemble stern, flat-topped scientists. Think more Devo and less Larry and His Flask. After all, who wants all that hippie hair floating around in their barley? Not us!

Scott Kazmir, king of wish-wash (he’s been up-and-down all season, 5-3, 4.52 ERA) takes on Junior Guerra (3-1, 3.31 ERA) at 7:10 PT. The Dodgers have never faced Guerra and are shut down very easily by new faces. Dodger fans may need to consume some extra liquid gold to stave off another loss tonight.

Will Kazmir carve-up Canterbury cheese to compliment the kegs of Milwaukee? Will Guerra get gone on gluttonous gallons of Gosser? Will Robinson ever?…warning…danger…Will Robinson…Will Robinson…warning…

Until next time, mirth seekers!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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