Rockies Take Series from Blue Man Group


June 9, 2016 by Shannon Michael Smith

Rockies 1, Dodgers 0. Kenta Maeda received no plate assistance from the blue man group last night. He struck out nine, only allowed one run, yet failed to earn his sixth victory. The Dodgers could only manage four hits in the series loss to the Rockies.

The Dodgers have Thursday off as they head to San Francisco to tackle their division betters. Clayton Kershaw (8-1, 1.46 ERA) will face Johnny Cueto (9-1, 2.16 ERA) in a prime time showdown for the ages on Friday night.

Pampered scribes are getting giddy about Corey Seager, and why not? He leads the blue crew in just about every hitting category (RBIs, home runs, doubles, runs, hits). He’s the top rookie in the majors at the mo…you’re waiting for the “BUT” right? Okay, here is is: BUT we’re a little cautious after a guy named Joc Pederson started out red hot last year and fizzled NOT TO MENTION we’re still reeling from the decline of Yasiel Puig (we know, we know, the glove—but the guy hasn’t made the necessary adjustments at the plate).

Bottom line? We’re waiting ‘til mid-August to crown Corey Seager the next Derek Jeter. Los Dogs desperately need this kid to keep it up, another rookie flash/fizzle would be devastating.

This is the part of the article where you expect us to turn the flamethrower on San Francisco. Sure, we could tell you that they see L.A. as Ryan Seacrest in a yellow Lamborghini ripping into their Steve Jobs-brained burg of organic genius. Let’s put all that aside though, they love the rivalry, and so do we. You don’t think they’re excited to have the Rams back in Los Angeles?

Will Kershaw carve-up the cutthroat colossi? Will Cueto quote Plato and doom Dodger dialogues? Will Jimmy John’s ever show up with our Club Lulus? We’re starving, already! Until next time, mirth seekers!

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