Dodgers Look To Sweep Braves, Wisler’s Mother To Attend

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June 5, 2016 by Shannon Michael Smith

The Dodgers won the game (and the series) 4-0 against the Braves last night. Clayton Kershaw, the Dodgers’ lone stud in an up-and-down rotation, earned his eighth victory and lowered his ERA to 1.46…

The Dodgers begin a series on Monday with the rank Rockies before they head up to San Francisco, then Arizona for a six-game road trip.

San Francisco is a great place to live if you can afford a one-bedroom apartment that was built in 1906 and costs $4,000 a month. Arizona is a nice place to live if you like residing in a state that resembles a nuclear test site. Ta-daaaaa! See! It only took two sentences to rip on two division rivals…cue the angry comments. “Our state does not look like a barren wasteland, you gang-banging L.A. psychopath,” writes angry Arizonian #1. “Los Angeles is a shallow pit of fake-lipped losers and creeps, I hope you fry to death in your tanning bed,” writes frazzled Frisco-ite #2. Now, how about that, rival burgs! We did the work for you.

How have the Dodgers fared so far this year? Just as we predicted, not very good. Kershaw and pray-for-rain coupled with anemic hitting = no playoffs. We’ve ripped on the owners and GMs until we’re blue in the face…get it? Blue in the face…hey, that should have been the name of this blog!

Today at 1:00, Los Dogs will go for a series sweep versus the bottomed-out Braves. Sadly, Chief Noc-A-Homa does not travel with the team…don’t get us started on Homer the Brave.

Will Scott Kazmir brazenly beat the Braves out of bumtown? Will Matt Wisler’s mother rise from her rickety chair to root on her rascally runt? Will rank-and-file fans fly down to finktown to fricassee us up like flailing fish? Stay tuned! Until next time, mirth seekers!!!!!

 

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