Dogs Lose Series Opener in That Toddlin’ Town

chez paul

May 30, 2016 by Shannon Michael Smith

The Dodgers looked flat in the 2-0 loss to the Cubs. Cue the travel excuses…what are they, 80 years old? The team’s anemic plate presence continues as they only could muster up one hit all afternoon.

The loss is disappointing after they beat the Mets, 4-2, in last night’s rubber match. The Dodgers are going to have win the next three games if they hope to take the series against the Cubs.

There’s been some talk of Yasiel Puig being sent down to Triple-A for a couple of weeks. We here at rascalsoftheravine thought that this might be the year for Puig, but he hasn’t made the necessary adjustments at the plate. His arm has been nothing short of a Nuclear Super Cannon, but he made a hideous fielding gaffe today that turned a Ben Zobrist single into a triple (Heyward singled Zobrist in a moment later). A trip to Oklahoma City may be just what Puig needs.

The Dodgers should hang onto Puig through the Chicago series, if only so we can see the Ferris Bueller-like travel photos that are bound to be on the way via his Twitter and Instagram page.

We can just see Puig’s pics now: Puig at the wheel of a red Ferrari 250 GT California Spyder listening to Sigue Sigue Sputnik, Puig at the Art Institute checking out Seurat, Puig messing with a snooty maître d’ at Chez Paul, Puig running through a Chicago suburb to get home while blasting “March of The Swivelheads” by the Beat. Those are good reasons to keep Puig around for the series, wouldn’t you agree?

It doesn’t get any easier for the Dodgers tomorrow as they face Jake Arrieta (9-0, 1.72 ERA) in game two of the series. He no-hit the Dogs the last time they squared off last August.

Will Jake Arrieta arrange Dodger dashers like dinky dominos and dice up dashed dreams? Will Scott Kazmir carve up Cub clamberer’s like cut cauliflower? Will redneck rejects rampage rascalsoftheravine’s restroom? Stay tuned! Until next time, mirth seekers!

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