Dodgers Sweep Reds, Senator McCarthy Thrilled

JM

May 26, 2016 by Shannon Michael Smith

It was a commie sweep at the Ravine, as Kaz K’d twelve and handed the Reds their tenth loss in-a-row.

Joc Pederson singled in two runs in the fourth after crashing into the wall in the top of the inning (the Tasmanian Devil couldn’t have done it better). The cartoon-like gaffe allowed an inside-the-park home run.

Grandal, who’s been awful at the plate lately (avg. is just over a buck fifteen in May) hit a solo shot in the fifth. 3-1, Dogs.

The Dodgers have a travel day off as they’re headed to New York, then Chicago. Blue Crew fans can only hope that the day off doesn’t kill any momentum they had going into the series with the Mets. Urias will get his first start for The Dodgers on Friday against Jacob deGrom.

Los Dogs are now 4.5 games out of first place. Their record stands at 25-23. The upcoming road series is crucial as they’ll be playing two of the best teams in the National League. We here at rascalsoftheravine.com don’t think the Dodgers have what it takes to topple them (let alone make the playoffs). We’d love to be proven wrong. We’re still stunned pampered scribes picked this team to win the division (then again, they don’t watch any of the games).

New York Post parasites will be on the prowl for buffoonery, but they won’t find it in the Boy Scout Summer Fun Camp run by Los Dogs. Yes, it’s one squeaky clean activity after another foisted on the team by  Dodger traveling secretaries (who are probably desperate to keep them out of strip clubs, dog fighting shows, gun clubs, Lenny Dykstra investment pitches, fight clubs, midget wrestling, A-Rods house, cockfighting, underground gambling, anywhere Russell Brand is, and guns…did we mention guns?) It’s as if the Dodgers’ roster is stuffed with twelve year olds instead of young men in their 20s and 30s. Forget about the bar, fellas! Instead, it’s bungee jumping, rodeos, amusement parks, monster truck shows, face painting, global international tolerance day for houseflies, Jesus–you get the point…

Will deGrom dismantle and dilute Dodger deeds? Will Urias incite urine from Mets mashers? Will “Do the Grom” by Pecos Puig and the Pugnacious Pinches race up the charts? Stay tuned! Until next time, mirth seekers!!!!

 

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