Meet Carl Crawford, The 20 Million-Dollar Hangover


May 19, 2016 by Shannon Michael Smith

Yes, folks, it’s Kershaw and pray-for-rain as the Dodgers dumped game three of the Freeway Series to the Angels last night, 8-1.

Have you noticed all the Hi-Chew in the dugout? The Japanese candy is sweeping the baseball community as big-leaguers these days prefer to chew fruit-flavored taffy over tobacco. Just watch out for those rubber bits (in 2008 Hi-Chew was forced to recall its products when bits of rubber were found inside some pieces. It turned out the glove of a worker had fallen into a High-Chew factory’s cooking vat).

We’ve called Carl Crawford “the 20 million-dollar hangover” on this blog before. Last night, he was the DH and batted ninth (.222 this season). The reason ownership (notice how they’ve all but vanished lately) plunked down 20 mil a year (through 2017) for Crawford was because Boston wouldn’t give up Adrian Gonzalez without him (we won’t even get into the Josh Beckett baggage). Ownership would have paid anything to get Gonzalez (read the details in Molly Knight’s The Best Team Money Can Buy). To his credit, he’s been nothing but stellar (although a nagging back issue threatens to sideline him for weeks). Crawford, however, has been spotty (when he’s not injured…which happens A LOT) to say the least, especially this year. 20 million-dollar hangover indeed!

We trumpeted our California League Crawl in the last post. This is going to be part of an ongoing series on the California League Class A-Advanced teams. We won’t just go to the games from now on, we’ll breathe the very essence of the community! staff will interview employees within the park and those that work in nearby saloons, taverns, brothels, etc. We’ll find out just what these teams mean to the surrounding areas at large.

Monday, June 30th, be front and center at the Lake Elsinore Storm game. However, it also looks like we’ll be attending the High Desert Mavericks (Texas Rangers) game versus the Lancaster Jethawks (Houston Astros) this coming Sunday, May 22nd at 1:00!

The same contest that we announced in the last post will also apply to the Mavericks game on Sunday! Five lucky readers will win a wonderful prize! Simply show up in the Mavericks parking lot around noon and bring: 100 bucks, a sack of fifty Breakfast Jacks, and two cases of Schlitz Malt Liquor! The first five to arrive with the supplies get free admission, and a four-hour education in Class A-Advanced observance.

Tonight is the final game of the Freeway Series. The best that the Dodgers can hope for is a series split as the only win came from Clayton Kershaw on Tuesday (he’s stuck out at least ten in six consecutive starts now). Sadly, he’s the only pitcher the boys in blue can count on these days.

Will Jhoulys Chasin chastise the charmers of Chavez? Will Ross Stripling out ace Angel armsmen? Will Carl Crawford cough up some of his extra cash to cheap charlatans? Sadly, we mean us…

Stay tuned! Until next time, mirth seekers!


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