Dodgers Drop Freeway Series Opener, Mike Trout to Open Fish Fry Takeout?

JB Lounge

May 17, 2016 by Shannon Michael Smith

Trayce Thompson went Monster Mash with two home runs last night, but it wasn’t enough to take down the hated Haloes. It seems like teams are starting to figure out Kenta Maeda as he only lasted four innings and surrendered four earned runs. The Dodgers lost, 7-6, which makes it their second in-a-row after losing the series finale to the Cardinals on Sunday.

Frankly, the Freeway Series is a bit flat these days. There are no beanball exchanges or bench-clearing brawls. Just a couple of teams sailing down the routine river, both bound for a port-of-no-playoffs in October.

Egad, that’s depressing! What if Trout ends up a Dodger? Will the Dodgers cough up Pederson? Would they deal Seager? Would that/could that turn the tide? It obviously wouldn’t fix the pitching problems, which is why it may not be worth it, but it certainly could create a much-need offensive spark (although Thompson seems to be coming alive).

Enough trade talk, let’s get into what really matters: Larry King. We had another NON-DODGER STADIUM LARRY KING SIGHTING the other day, the third so far this year. He frequents a newsstand very close to rascalsoftheravine.com HQ on a daily basis. We’d spill the street name, but then people would start scaling the neighborhood rooftops trying to get a glimpse of L.K. (he looks like a hip, bleached Yoda in his leather jacket) as he picks up his issue of Rubber World.

Rascalsoftheravine’s California League Crawl continues next Monday, June 30th, as we head to Lake Elsinore to see the Storm (Padres-Class A-Advanced) take on the Stockton Ports (Oakland Athletics). Five lucky rascalsoftheravine readers can win a wonderful prize! Simply show up in the Ports parking lot around noon and bring: 100 bucks, a sack of fifty Breakfast Jacks, and two cases of Schlitz Malt Liquor! The first five to arrive with the supplies get free admission and a four-hour education in Class A-Advanced observance. Contestants must bring a large sign that states “I’m A Rascal” so that we know who you are. We’ll break down keen prospects, unis, grub, grog, and more!

Tonight is game two of the four-game Freeway Series. They’ll play at Dodger Stadium again tonight before they head down to Anaheim for games three and four tomorrow.

Will Jered Weaver…wait a minute, Weaver? How long has a Weaver been on the staff in Anaheim? Did Disney make some sort of deal with the city fathers back in the day where there has to be a Weaver on the Angels or a series of thermonuclear explosions will render the former orange grove to a smoking crater? Whoa! Don’t ever say that we don’t break the sizzling stories!

Will Clayton Kershaw topple ten again? Will Jered Weaver weave his wild wigwam over Chavez sticks? Will Mike Scioscia forget what year it is and sit next to Tommy Lasorda in the stands? Stay tuned! Until tomorrow, mirth seekers!!

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