Guns N’ Roses Set to Defile Dodger Stadium in August

bee gees dodger

May 10, 2016 by Shannon Michael Smith

After taking the series in Toronto, the Dodgers dropped the opening game of the Mets series at home last night, 4-2.

Kazmir coughed up three runs in 5.2 innings worth of work. His ERA now stands at 5.54 and his record is 2-3.

As far as NL batting stats go this year, the Dodgers rank 11th in OPS (.689), 14th in home runs (23), 10th in batting average (.241) and 9th in runs (133).

During last night’s game, did you notice how one team is bound for the playoffs and one isn’t? Hint: It’s not the team sitting at 16-16.

The Mets or the Cubs will go to the World Series, just as we predicted at the start of the season. The Dodgers thought they could replace Greinke with a bunch of maybe-babies (yeah, yeah Maeda’s been great, but it’s only May).

What’s with all these night games during the week? Other teams have day games during the week. What gives? Getting into Dodger Stadium is a lot easier at noon then at six. The nerd-turds in the front office must figure they can sell more boiled hot dogs at night.

During the last game of the Toronto series, Orel Hershiser spoke of a Pablo Cruise/Foreigner show he attended back in the day. We’ll let that sink in. Photos! We need photos!

Speaking of rock dreck, overrated junkies Guns N’ Roses are coming to destroy Dodger Stadium in August. Yes, that’s right, on August 18th, the worst band of the ‘80s will defile Dodger Stadium with their presence. We like a lot of different types of music here at rascalsoftheravine HQ. Rock and roll, oldies, punk, reggae, ska, post-punk, indie, surf, power pop, metal, country, jazz, new wave, classical, etc…we dig all genres!

However, there is not one staffer at this bitter rag that can find any redeeming value with GNR. You know that guy on Cops that’s always on some rooftop with no shirt on, out of his mind on crank? That’s Axl. Junkie metal lite. Slash stinks. They’re more overrated than Kiss (P.S. they suck too). GNR are no better than Poison or any of that hideous Sunset Strip bubblegum metal of the late ‘80s.

Jacob deGrom takes the hill today for the Mets. Utley and Gonzalez have hit well off the New York ace in the past. As for the rest of the Dodgers, cue the crickets. Will deGrom grind up Dodger bones for his bread? Will Mets fans stop whining and weeping over Chase Utley? Will Guns N’ Roses burn Dodger Stadium to the ground with their meth pipes? Stay tuned! Until next time, mirth seekers!!!

 

 

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