Kershaw Terminates Ten, Colletti to Star in Season 3 of True Detective



May 8th, 2016 by Shannon Michael Smith

“Death. Taxes. Clayton Kershaw.”

Ned Colletti couldn’t have put it better during the post-game show, after the Dodgers 6-2 victory over the Toronto Blue Jays on Saturday.

Kershaw gave up two runs and struck out ten in seven innings worth of work. Mr. Reliable’s ERA now stands at 2.04 and he’s whiffed at least ten batters in his last three starts (no walks allowed).

While we were watching Colletti after the game, we fondly remembered his stint on the third season of True Detective with Jonathan Banks (Mike from Breaking Bad) or was that just a beautiful dream?

The Dodgers have another 10AM start Sunday morning before heading back to L.A. to face the Mets in a four-game series.

There’s been some speculation about Mike Trout possibly being traded. The Angels have supposedly thrown in the towel this year, now that Garrett Richards is out for the season. So called “experts” say The Dodgers would have to cough up Seager and Pederson to get Trout. The same “experts” have said that a deal like that would be “too explosive” for the Dodgers.

This type of garbage analysis is typical of pampered scribes from the east coast who NEVER SEE THE DODGERS BECAUSE THEY AIR AT 10PM…

NEWS FLASH: Pederson’s a good kid, but…did anyone from the east coast notice his performance in the second half of the season last year? What if the Dodgers had traded Pederson for David Price when they could have? The Dodgers are a 15-15 team going NOWHERE. Corey Seager is NOT TROUT, and will never be Trout, hell we’d throw in a couple more underachievers to land the Millville Meteor!

Want numbers? NO! Not here amigo, not ever! Go hit up a chart on Fangraphs, polish Peter Gammons’ dentures, tack up a Brian Kenny poster above your bed, whatever you gotta do…

Now for the important stuff…what to get mom on Mother’s Day! Well, speaking from experience, we know moms LOVE gag gifts! You know, the ol’ fly in the ice cube, fake plastic vomit, pepper gum, eye-black binoculars, whoopee cushions, or a year-long subscription to GRIT! Yes, dear readers, nothing says “We hate this day and the fact that we have to buy garbage for you, here’s a gag gift to let you know what we think of this idiotic crap.”

Don’t ever say that we’re not sentimental!

Will Ross Stripling make it out of the fourth inning today? Will Darwin Barney allow another grounder to roll between his legs like Timmy Lupus in The Bad News Bears? Will Marco Estrada remember that he’s the son of Erik and ride out to the mound on a CHP bike? Stay tuned! Until tomorrow, mirth seekers!

2 thoughts on “Kershaw Terminates Ten, Colletti to Star in Season 3 of True Detective

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