Dodgers Kick Off 3-Game Series in Toronto Shopping Mall


May 6, 2016 by Shannon Michael Smith

O Canada! After dropping the final game in Tampa, the Dodgers were downed by a Kevin Pillar 3-run smash in the eighth inning last night in Toronto. The final score, 5-2 Blue Jays.

Rogers Centre (it used to be called The Skydome before some creepy company bought the team) is a horrible venue for baseball (as is any soulless indoor dump). Don’t blame the city for this sports shopping mall though, supposedly weather whiny Canucks protested outside Toronto City Hall after the Grey Cup in 1982. They wanted a dome.

Baseball and football should be played outdoors. Period. Hey, we thought it snowed in Canada? What’s a little weather? Aren’t they all hammered on Labatt’s and Molson up there anyway? If they get wet, will their bodies chemically revert back to beer?

At lease Puig didn’t disappoint. El caballo salvaje nailed Darwin Barney (who foolishly tried to stretch a single into a double) at second base with another throw for Ken Burns’ highlight reel.

Maeda went six innings, he surrendered a two-run shot to Bautista and ended up with a no-decision. His ERA stands at 1.66 after Joey Bats’ bomb.

The Dodgers have two 10AM starts this weekend to close out the Toronto series. They ended up splitting the two-game set in Tampa Bay last week, their record currently stands at 14-15.


Forget about Saturday morning cartoons, King Kersh is on at 10:07 AM! Wacky Races, Electra Woman & Dyna Girl, and Lidsville will just have to wait!

Will King Kersh outduel R.A. Dickey? Will Puig throw out a baserunner in a different stadium today? Will the monotonous mall-environed fans pass out from too much Molson? Stay tuned! Until tomorrow, mirth seekers!


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