Break Out The Red Solo Cups, Mattingly’s Back!!


April 25, 2016 by Shannon Michael Smith

Joe Blanton racks up another win after a wild one in Colorado. The Rockies put up five runs in the bottom of the eighth (off Hatcher, Avilan) to take a 10-7 lead. The Dodgers scored five runs in the top of the ninth (Utley’s two-out double put them ahead) to make it 12-10. Jansen nailed the door down in the bottom of the inning, final score: Dodgers 12 Rockies 10.

Puig made a spectacular grab in the bottom of the fourth. The cuckoo Cuban careened off the right field wall before he collapsed onto the warning track with his glove held high (the Statue of Liberty would have been proud) to indicate he’d made the catch.

Guess who’s back? Mattingly’s magic Marlins make the scene in L.A. today! Hopefully they’ve stocked enough Toby Keith and red Solo cups in the visitor’s clubhouse! They’ll have Dee Gordon in tow as well! How will Dodger Stadium respond? Will fans hurl Extreme Loaded Dogs at them? Camacho’s Nachos? Roger the Peanut Man’s dentures? Nah, it’ll be a lovefest…until The Marlins take the lead, or the Modelo Especial kicks in. Ichiro Suzuki will be along for the ride as well, we know he’s at the end of his career, but he’s still a gas to watch.

Notice Dodger Stadium’s lack of day games during the week this year? Opening day was it. Sure, there are day games on Saturdays and Sundays but who wants to battle a billion kids? We here at rascalsoftheravine live for the “businessman’s special”. Teams across the league don’t seem to have a problem scheduling day games during the week. Getting into Dodger Stadium for night games is hell. Entering the park from the downtown side is insane (unless you like traveling fifty feet per hour). That leaves the Sunset Boulevard gate, which clogs up Sunset all the way back to Silverlake. Not that the front office or owners care, all they’ve done since they bought the team is screw the fans repeatedly (how’s that TV deal working out, L.A.?)

Will Ross Stripling last more than three innings? Will Wei-Yin Chen chop up Chavez chums? Will it take us more than four hours to get into Dodger Stadium? Stay tuned! Until next time, mirth seekers!

Psssssssssttt! Hey! Hey you! Did you know that you can hire rascalsoftheravine staff members? Yes! We’ll write about anything for a modest price. We cover sports, music, basket weaving, paint drying…you get the picture. Simply drop a line and wait for the laughs to roll in…seriously, just do it…now…nobody’s looking, it’s cool…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s