Rocks Dominate Dodgers, Bunny Wailer Smokes Out Team


April 23, 2016 Shannon Michael Smith

Did Kazmir shave his head? He sure looked like Walter White’s distant cousin out there on the hill. Kaz coughed up four runs on six hits to the purple gang. Garcia and Hatcher spewed up the rest, but by then it was too late—Dogs lost 7-5.

Yasiel Puig made a throw in the fifth inning that had Ken Burns hitting the “record” button. Trevor Story ripped a shot that bounced off the outfield wall behind Puig. Story tried to stretch it to a triple, Puig nailed him at third with a throw for the ages.If you haven’t seen it yet, turn on yo TV!

In addition to the Ghost of Larry Walker (see last post) there are other spirits that haunt the purple row at Coors Field. The rumor is, that if you close your eyes, hold out a few lotto tickets, and say the words “Todd Helton Hates Hangovers”, two igloo cups of red wine will appear in place of the lotto tickets. Consume them at your own risk. No refunds, remember, Force Majeure.

The great Bunny Wailer is playing tonight in Denver at The Ogden Theater. For those of you who don’t know, Bunny is one third of the famous trio called The Wailers (Bob Marley and Peter Tosh are the other two). They, of course, eventually changed their name to Bob Marley and The Wailers. Reports of a giant mushroom cloud of marijuana hanging over the Ogden have been buzzing all over the Mile High City (no pun intended). Dodger Stadium sure could use a little “Black Heart Man In Dub” thudding over its speakers.

How does this fit in the with The Dodgers? We know for a fact that there are a few fans of Jamaica’s rich musical output on the squad. Will any of the Dodgers attend Bunny’s show? Based on some tweets we’ve laid our peepers on, we think a couple of them will!

How will The Dodgers fare tomorrow? Will Maeda continue to seep radioactive doom out of his arm and shut out hitters? Will Tyler Chatwood and his “just for men” beard dominate Los Dogs??? Will Dodger owners continue to remain invisible and hope a World Series falls into their laps? Stay Tuned! Until tomorrow, mirth seekers!

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