Dodgers Take Series In Atlanta, Pederson Celebrates 12th Birthday In Style

man with red box

April 21, 2016 by Shannon Michael Smith

The Dodgers won two ten-inning games in-a-row to take the series in Atlanta. Their record stands at 10-6 heading into Colorado.

Happy birthday Joc Pederson! He went 2-5 with a RBI today. What, is he like 12 now? Is the gang heading over to Chuck E. Cheese Pizza Time Theater to play Dance Dance Revolution?

In today’s battle, King Kersh struck out ten and managed to hold The Braves to one run through eight innings, even though he didn’t have his best stuff.  Kershaw had to settle for a no-decision as Joc Pederson left Chase Utley stranded at third to end the top of the ninth. In the tenth inning, Grandal hit the go-ahead RBI, Hernandez scored.

Chris Hatcher pitched a 1-2-3 ninth and ended up with the win. Jansen got the save in the tenth. The bullpen’s been lights out in the last eight games. We’ll see how they handle the cannons of Colorado!

Hey, have you noticed that Dave Roberts is like Richard Simmons out there? Have you seen him? He stands next to the stairs and cheerleads players as they head out onto the field, it’s a blast. He’s locked in on every pitch, always chatting, always fired up. It’s different from Donny, who was pretty easygoing, but It’s a far cry from the Joe Torre days. Torre resembled a mafia don in the dugout. His cold, sunken eyes remained expressionless as he quietly issued execution orders through his bench coaches.

Two instant replays slowed down the game today. Seager singled and Clayton Kershaw (he’d ended up on second after Smith and Francoeur collided in the outfield earlier) was called out in a close play at the plate. The Dodgers challenged and lost.

The instant replay circus is a constant crack-up. You’ve all seen it. A technician in a black MLB polo runs out with a red box that has two sets of headphones plugged into it. An ump stands on each side of the man (which seems all very 1950s, can’t they just have wireless headphones?) Through the headsets, the umps listen to some other umps (who are stationed at the MLB Replay Command Center in N.Y.C.) argue about the play in question.

The whole procedure seems to take ten hours, but what’s really hysterical is the fellow holding the box. The Queen’s Guard at Buckingham Palace has nothing on the poker-faced technician with the red box. There are rumors that Major League Baseball has informed the tech geek that if anything happens to the red box, his entire family will be eliminated. Therefore, he will kill every person in the stadium, if necessary, to protect it.

Off to Colorado!!! It is rumored that ice cold beer bubbles forth from the drinking fountains at Coors Field. It is also rumored that there are ghosts in the twentieth “purple row” in the upper deck (the row marks the elevation of one mile above sea level). Supposedly, if you sit in the purple row, close your eyes, and say “Larry Walker wears Wing Tips” three times, a man with a mullet will appear out of nowhere and drink all your beer.

Will Scott Kazmir give up twelve runs before the fifth inning? Will Gonzalez continue to monster mash in Colorado? Will Adam Liberatore huff Denver’s entire marijuana supply? Stay tuned! Until tomorrow, mirth seekers!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s