Dodgers Take Series, Dignity, Player’s Wives From Giants

clermont lounge

April 18, 2016 by Shannon Michael Smith

Joc Pederson’s two-run smash came in the fifth inning and Los Dogs never looked back. In the seventh, El cabllo salvaje did some damage on the base paths, and scored on a groovy Grandal single to make it 3-1, Dodgers.

Maeda’s eyes did indeed shoot frozen ice beams (see last post) as he pitched seven superb innings. He surrendered a home run to Joe Panik in the third, but no matter, after three starts Maeda’s 0.47 E.R.A. is better than Dave Roberts expected. The Dodgers will enter Tuesday’s game against The Braves with an 8-5 record.

Do we go all in with Puig and Pederson??? They’re looking magnifico, but let’s cool our jets…it’s still April.

Flashback!

Last Friday night, when asked by Intentional Talk about the Kershaw/Bumgarner match up, A.J. Ellis quipped, “Don’t you mean the Ellis/Posey match up?”

When The Dodgers fly to Atlanta, they’ll more than likely land at Hartsfield-Jackson Airport. If you fly to the Caribbean from the west coast on the cheap like we do (Atlanta is the main stopover), you become very familiar with ol’ Hartsfield.

Lucky for Los Dogs (and us) there is a VARSITY (What’ll ya have!) in the airport, and while it isn’t the original, it shor will do!!! For those that don’t know, The Varsity has been shoving chili dogs, onion rings, and orange fizz down Georgia Tech’s students’ throats since 1928.

Do the Dodgers really want burgers on the road though? Are their heads always buried in their cell phones? Maybe they’re looking for action!

Atlanta is also known for its seedy night life. Joints like the Clermont Lounge have been serving up sin since ‘65. It is the longest continually operating strip joint in Atlanta.

We had a contest here in the office where we tried to match up a stripper type with the Dodger player most likely to choose them for a lap dance.

The consensus was that Clayton Kershaw would go for the largest bl——CENSORED BY OUR FUTURE SELVES

Rats, we hate in when our future selves break into the office and change articles that ruin their ultimate destinies…damn them.

Will Dodger diets survive the powerful lull of The Varsity? Will their stomachs? Can their loins resist the siren-song pull of The Clermont Lounge? Can The Dogs take Teheran? Will The Braves pop Wood? Stay tuned! Until next time, mirth seekers!

One thought on “Dodgers Take Series, Dignity, Player’s Wives From Giants

  1. You are. One terrific sports writer! Even though I couldn’t tell you one thing about baseball, I sure do love how you bring writing about sports to new heights. Keep um coming!

    Liked by 1 person

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