April 17, 2016
Well, Kazmir improved a little since his last outing, he only gave up four runs, instead of six. Sadly, that’s all The Giants would need as Johnny Cueto held The Dogs to just one run in 7.1 innings worth of work. You remember Cueto, he was available before the playoffs last year (so was David Price), but the genius’ in the Dodger front office decided that Brett Anderson was good enough to face The Mets…how Zaidi and Friedman still have their jobs is beyond us.
For those that don’t know, Andrew Friedman and Farhan Zaidi are the twin turds that slapped together that overpaid, mediocre mess you see on the field.
This got us thinking, do Zaidi and Friedman work for free? Are they being blackmailed by the front office? They clearly have no skills, so this has to be some type of indentured servant thing…
Maybe they are being blackmailed. Scientology has held Tom Cruise and Travolta captive for years with “gay nude photos”. WHAT DO THEY HAVE ON ZAIDI AND FRIEDMAN?
Last month, Goose Gossage went off…
“The game is becoming a freaking joke because of the nerds who are running it. I’ll tell you what has happened, these guys played Rotisserie baseball at Harvard or wherever the f— they went and they thought they figured the f—ing game out. They don’t know s—.”
In case you were wondering, HE’S TALKING ABOUT ZAIDI AND FRIEDMAN…
We’re always stunned when millennials flip out over cranky, old-guy rantings…there’s a lot of truth in them thar rantings. We LOVED to hear old guys spout off when we were young, it’s FUNNY and often, especially in Goose’s case, insightful. Millennials (we’re looking at you players) are so mollycoddled that any tone or voice that doesn’t sound like a nursery school teacher rattles them. Any criticism at all is negativity.
Enough about idiot GMs and front office dorks. How will Los Dodgers fare in today’s contest vs the hated ones? Kenta Maeda (or Super Agent Zero…his ERA is zero, get it?) will freeze Giant bats with the ice beams that shoot out of his eyes…fine, there aren’t any ice beams but aren’t you getting tired of reading “he will mow them down” or “he will strike them out”?
Jeff Samardzija (Son of Sam) will take the hill against Los Dogs. Chase Utley is hitting .500 off S.O.S. in ten at-bats, look for his serious mug on the field today. Dodger players that have faced the Son of Sam in the past (only a few at-bats per player) have hit well off him.
Will the Son of Sam burst into flames and reveal his true form as Satan on the field? Will Maeda’s ice beam lasers neutralize Satan’s powers? Will Chase Utley crack a smile at the cost of hell freezing over? Stay tuned! Until tomorrow, mirth seekers!