D-Backs Spoil Home Opener, Dump Dogs 4-2

hop louis

April 13, 2016 by Shannon Michael Smith

As you might expect, Charley Steiner did a terrific job as MC for the Vin Scully Avenue dedication on Monday at Dodger Stadium. Su poderosa voz resonó en toda Chavez Ravine como los antiguos dioses de México!

The small but adoring crowd beamed throughout the short ceremony, although we did witness one ejection (due to the fact that the fellow cursed at a security guard). It was a long, lonely schlep back down to Sunset Boulevard for that dude . Hey, he may have been the first to walk down the newly named Vin Scully Avenue!

Did any of you go to El Compadre before the game? A full tank of tequila may have helped dull the pain, as yesterday was the home opener versus The Diamondbacks. After a wonderful opening ceremony (Scully honored, along with Dodger greats of the past) the grim reality of L.A.’s shortcomings set in. We’ll start with the bright spots though, so we don’t seem like the naysayers of doom (which we actually are).

The game started out fine, Howie Kendrick returned to the lineup and raced home on a squeeze bunt by Ellis to give The Dodgers their first run of the game in the bottom of the second inning.

Kenta Maeda had another strong outing and held the D-backs at bay through six innings (he has yet to surrender a run this season). Kare wa Urutoraman yori mo kyōryokudesu!

Then, the faltering bullpen set in. Baez gave up a HR to Nick Ahmed in the top of seventh. Hatcher coughed up a bomb to Goldschmidt in the eighth.

Cue the key managerial blunder: The Dodgers had two on with no outs in the bottom of the eighth inning with a chance to tie. Justin Turner (0-3 in the game so far) was at the plate. Instead of bunting the tying run to third, they played the power game and lost as Turner struck out. Hey, front office, we know you’re calling the shots on this Anti-Bunt, American League-style tomfoolery. Quit waiting for the big jack and run the rabbits. What the hell did you hire Dave Roberts for if you’re going to park base runners?

In the top of the ninth, Louis Coleman beaned the leadoff batter, then surrendered a triple to Socrates to increase the Snakes lead to 3-1. Goldschmidt grounded out, but another run scored. 4-1 Diamondbacks. The Dogs managed another run in the bottom of the ninth, but ultimately fell 4-2.

Grim tidings, indeed! The obsequious sycophants of the major media will never call out the front office, but we can, and so can you! Let them know you feel! Drop ‘em a line! Let them know you’d like baseball minds, not Bear Stearns maggots, calling the shots!

Hey! Kobe Bryant’s retiring today, it’s so exciting that we… zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

Ah! Thanks for nudging us awake! The good news about the contest vs The Snakes today is that Arizona is sending Rubby (Were his parents torn between naming him Bobby or Rudy?) De La Rosa (12.46 ERA) to the hill. He’s actually pitched worse than Wood (9.00 ERA…we love the wild, bloated stats of April).

Will Rubby get grubby and serve up some scrumptious fastballs? Will the Snakes bare their fangs and sport Wood? Tune it tomorrow, when—

Wait! We almost forgot to mention our staff party at Hop Louie after the Vin Scully Ave. dedication on Monday! If you’re not familiar with Old Chinatown, Hop Louie (since 1941) is in the pedestrian mall between Broadway and Hill. It had been years since we darkened their doors (ask us sometime about our nightmarish evening with John Cusack there).

They had one of the best jukes in town back in the day (we were upstairs this time, so we didn’t see it) featuring the exotic sounds of Kyu Sakamoto, Martin Denny, and Arthur Lyman. Bill (his picture is on their official website…he’s a tall, thin gentleman in his 70s) has been working there for decades and serves up a mean Mai-Tai. He also thirsts for bobbleheads like a dying man in the desert, so if you ever stop in, bring the man a bobblehead! Bill also had some strong opinions about Greinke’s departure that we couldn’t agree more with, maybe we should feed him Friedman’s cell number!

Until next time, mirth seekers!


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