March 30, 2016 by Shannon Michael Smith
Today’s contest against the Indians is the final Cactus League game for Los Dogs!!! Finally, the Dodgers can begin the regular—oh no, wait…there’s the dreaded L.A. Freeway Exhibition Series! Don’t get us wrong, we love to see the Dodgers and Angels clash. It’s just that after a month of spring training contests, it seems ridiculous to hype up an exhibition series against a team that The Dodgers are going to play during the regular season.
Heck, the banged-up Dodgers could probably use more time. The loss of Greinke looms large over a rag-tag rotation that, aside from Kershaw and Maeda, has looked mediocre this spring.
Can’t or won’t get Time Warner Cable? No Dodgers for you! It looks like Vin Scully’s final season of broadcasting will be marred by disgusting billionaires. Yes, the greedy Dodger owners, the same ones that keep jacking up ticket prices whilst they continue to waste Clayton Kershaw’s career, are keen to screw an entire city and fan base over to get fatter. Remember their bold World Series talk when the gag-me Guggenheim group bought the team? Notice how that talk has all but vanished? Notice how they don’t seem to care if The Dodgers are eliminated in the first round of the playoffs as long as butts fill the seats? Notice how they cheaped out on David Price (the Red Sox seem to have A LOT of faith in him) before the playoffs last year? The lack of moves before the postseason seemed familiar, didn’t it? That’s because IT’S EXACTLY WHAT FRANK MCCOURT WOULD HAVE DONE. “Meet the new boss, same as the old boss”, has never rung truer with these gluttonous worms. It’s clear the owners have zero regard for Dodger tradition, the way they practically tarred and feathered organist, Nancy Bea Hefley, and ran her out of town on a rail. We’re surprised they haven’t canned Roger the Peanut Man in favor of some twerking twerp!
So here’s to a wonderful 2016 season! Most of Los Angeles probably won’t see the team, but that’s cool, as long as Guggenheim guts grow grander, that’s all that really matters. Viva Los Billionaires!!!!
We offer a simple solution; grab your radios L.A. Make it a transistor summer. Sit on your porches. Drink Country Time Lemonade. Kick back on your rocker. Dig out the hammock. Fill up the Igloo Cooler. Schaefer is the beer to have cuando se toma mas de una! Grill up some Farmer John’s Hot Dogs. Don’t miss out on Vin’s last ride.