Dodgers Dump Seven In-A-Row, Lose Ethier ‘Till At Least June

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March 23rd, 2016 by Shannon Michael Smith

Well, it looks like Time Warner (and the greedy Dodger owners, don’t let them off the hook on this, it was the urge to further bloat their billionaire bellies that burned fans…see attached pic) is going to slash prices in hopes that DirecTV bites and decides to air Dodger games. Even L.A. Mayor Eric Garcetti is chiming in on this, hoping all of the southland can enjoy Vin Scully’s last season (hear! hear!).

 

Another horrible injury plagues the Dodgers as Andre Ethier has been sidelined with a fractured tibia for at least 10-14 weeks (early reports had him okay for opening day, we ribbed him in our last post for his propensity to avoid regular season day games according to the book “The Best Team Money Can Buy” but we certainly wish him a speedy recovery). This is going to hurt The Dogs as Dre had a spiffy ’15, and left little doubt he was the team’s most reliable outfielder (.294 AVG .366 OBP). This means Van Smash and Carl Crawford (the $20 million-dollar hangover) will most likely split time.  Pederson (.324) and Puig (.308) have picked it up at the plate. Whether this is spring training fool’s gold or a good sign for the ’16 season remains to be seen.

 

Sadly, Bolsinger’s strained oblique muscle injury will sideline him for the start of the season, Zach Lee (4.50 ERA in 8 innings) or Carlos Frias (3.38 ERA in 10.2 innings) could end up with his spot. Maeda showed some nice bounce back in his most recent start on Monday against Seattle (The Dodgers lost 6-3). He coughed up two quick runs in the first inning but righted the ship nicely. He went five innings altogether (two earned runs on four hits with five strikeouts…his spring ERA stands at 1.32). What’s up with the sound at these Cactus League broadcasts btw? Every single game we’ve seen or heard starts with some sort of audio technical difficulty, no matter which broadcast team it is. What stoned sap is twirling the knobs down there in Glendale, Pauly Shore?

 

 

In the loss yesterday (3-1) against The Royals (hey look, they have fans now—we’ll get into the B.S. of “good” Midwest fans vs “bad” L.A. fans soon) Alex Wood looked so-so as he surrendered three runs in four innings (6.00 ERA). Remember when The Dodgers were 9-2? After their seventh straight loss, they are now 10-10. The Fred Flintstone-like cave wheels are coming off the Cactus League cart! How does that Greinke loss look now? Way to go, Zaidi. Can they return this twerp to the mundane M.I.T. maggot hole he crawled out of? Where’s Goose Gossage when we need him?

 

Ahh, but we jest. You see? Even rascalsoftheravine can get caught up in spring overreaction! We know we like to occasionally turn the flamethrower on Millennials in this blog, but we see a lot of good in the lads too. What Joc and Champ Pederson are doing with Champ Hats is inspiring. Social media provides candid looks into player’s lives. Hernandez posted a hysterical photo of himself and Justin Turner with “the frozen laugher”, Brett Phillips, from the Milwaukee Brewers. If you haven’t seen this kid’s guffaw on youtube, it’s one for the ages!!! Until next time, mirth-seekers!

 

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