March 11, 2016 by Shannon Michael Smith
Glendale, AZ. Ahhh, rookie hazing. Gone are the days of the monk robes, hard liquor-bonging, and uncomfortable private shavings. This, folks, is the modern haze; A Starbucks run. I’d wager in Ty Cobb’s day, the hazing of rookie players involved human beheadings. Goose Gossage would have them all dressed in drag and twerking at a Taco Bell so damn fast! It’s probably better that hazing’s calmed down, after all, who wants Justin Turner hang gliding on acid over Malibu?
How’d They pitch?
At first, Zach Lee’s sweet seventies stirrups couldn’t help him as he surrendered a leadoff double. He was bailed out by a suave FC by Gonzalez to nail the Angels’ leadoff man at home. The Halos continued with a double off Lee before The Prince of Plano coughed up a graveyard smash to Giovanni Soto. 3-0 Angels. Lee looked much better in the second inning, going 1-2-3 to clip the Halos wings just a little bit. In the third, after giving up a walk, a double play and a fly ball followed. All-in-all Lee had a decent bounce back after that rocky first inning. Kenley Jansen and J.P. Howell, and Baez pitched no-hit fourth and fifth, and sixth innings (Baez struck out the side).
Urias’ debut started red hot as he smoked the side with three ks in the seventh. The eighth didn’t go quite as smoothly. After Marte singled, theteenager7 (Urias’ Twitter nombre) surrendered two runs on two consecutive doubles. 5-4 Angels. When he coughed up another single, Roberts trotted out to save the kid’s bacon before Urias could record a single out in the inning. Coleman came in and Nick Buss stole home on a throwing error by Elian Herrera. 6-4 Angels. Cunningham ripped a triple off Rhame in the ninth, followed by two consecutive RBI doubles for the Halos to bring the score to 8-4.
How’d they hit?
In the first inning, Joc Pederson hit a two-strike single in his only at bat for the day (no injury we’re told), then scored on Puig’s sac later. 3-1 Angels. Austin Barnes continues to slug as he smashed a solo shot in the second. His old stomping grounds (Barnes went to Arizona State) seem to be conjuring up some type of Sun Devil mojo. 3-2 Angels. Segedin later scored on a Corey Brown sac fly to tie up the score 3-3. Gonzalez shellacked a HR in the fourth to give the Dogs a bone, 4-3. Puig made a bit of an ass out of himself (surprise! surprise! surprise!) as he took a home run bat-flip on what was only a two-bagger. He was doubled off on an infield liner a minute later. Ay dios mio! Mr. Freeze popped over from The Gotham set to put his ice-ray on the Dodger bats for the rest of the day.Goodnight from Glendale!