March 7, 2016 by Shannon Michael Smith
The previously winless Injuns dominated the Dogs today, handing them their first loss of the spring. The loss, however, wasn’t the worst thing about the game (it’s spring training people) as Sportsnet LA decided not to carry any of the games this week (TV and Radio). Sadly, we here at rascalsoftheravine were forced to listen to the Indians radio broadcast (we don’t show up in person in AZ till the 15th). After yesterdays brutal barrage on the senses courtesy of The Giants P.A. person, this especially hurt. We’ve listened to A LOT of baseball announcers over the last 40 years, and we can’t think of a dopier duo than what the tribe rolled out today. Play-by-play man, Jim Rosenhaus sounded like a guy at a party imitating an announcer in that “Columbia School of Broadcasting” tone that typically comes off bush league bozo (he quoted Bob Euker’s “just a bit outside” line from the film Major League 3 times). Rosenhaus’ aural assault had us wishing for the real Euk (and the bottle of Jack Daniels by his side). If he wasn’t irritating enough, his color man, newbie Ben Francisco, grated exactly like Beavis’ partner Butthead (right down to the machine gun huh-huh-huh-huh laugh). No wonder Randy Quaid’s so pissed off. What’s more shocking is the fact that The Yankees regular season broadcast team is actually worse.
How’d they Pitch?
Not so swell at the start today. Corey Seager wasn’t helping Alex Wood at all in the first as he made two ugly errors at short (Wood gave up a home run immediately after, 3-0 Tribe, he ended up with two earned runs on the day in two innings). In the third, Yimi Garcia pitched a lightning 1-2-3 inning with one strikeout, and Beachy threw a scoreless fourth and fifth (one hit, two walks). J.P. Howell (the Monarch of Modesto) ran into some trouble in the sixth (two earned runs on three hits), Jansen also coughed up a run in the seventh on two hits. Louis Coleman (three Ks in the eighth) and Ian Thomas (two Ks in the ninth) pitched well at the end of the contest.
How’d They Hit?
Culberson continues to MONSTER MASH his way through spring training, as he hit a 3-run bomb off Jobba “the hut” Chamberlain in the fifth inning. Trayce Thompson continues to be terrible at the plate, going 0-3 (no panico it’s early, yet). Ditto for Barnes (0-2). Segedin keeps swinging, he knocked in a RBI, Grandal hit a leadoff double in the sixth and Jack Murphy (google his pic for a snap outta 1976) was beaned in his only appearance at the plate. Welcome to the big leagues Mr. Murphy! Goodnight, Glendale!